An Obedient Husband

Photo by Thomas Park on Unsplash

I am in the doghouse. For the third year in succession I have forgotten our wedding anniversary for which I have to serve my due sentence.

I have 18 bottles of whisky in the cellar and my wife has ordered me to pour the contents of the lot down the sink. With a heavy heart and heavier tread I descend the narrow stairs to the cellar. I remove the cork from the first bottle, drinking a glass and pouring the rest down the sink. I repeat the process with the second bottle, taking a glass before pouring the remaining contents down the drain. Taking the third bottle I drank the cork and bottled a glass before moving on to the fourth, an old friend, Jack Daniels.

Good guy, Jack. Spent many a happy evening with him — but, he had to go and I waved “Bood Gye” to his last drop.

By this time I needed a rest and sat back into the chair — which wasn’t there — and so landed on the stone floor. This seemed to knock some sense back into me, especially the painful ones so, after collecting a few of my wits scattered across the room I crawled towards the wall.

By means of steely determination, will power and the aid of a loose shelf on the wall I managed to regain an upright posture just as the collection of old paint cans on the shelf fell to the floor with a satisfying “crash” where they split open releasing their contents over the cellar floor creating an artwork worthy of some prestigious art prize or other.

Now that I was vertical, I supported the house with one hand while counting the bottles, glasses, corks and pours as they came round when they were seventy three. Now I know what you are thinking but I can assure you that, in spite of the fact that the drunker I stand here the longer I get, I am not half as thunk as some drinkle thinkle peep I am … Hic.

Oops, I think I need to lie down — but I am determined to remember next year that our anniversary falls on July the thirty fourth. Good ni….

--

--

--

Retired veterinary surgeon now a collector of trivia. Married to a wonderful wife, four children and four grandchildren. Author of A Veterinary Life on Amazon.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Exposing the ‘Happily Ever After’ Myth in 2021

My Darlings, Where Are You?

How To Choose A Couples Therapist

I Went Halfway Around The World To Meet A Man Like My Dad

Letter to My Husband: Why I Lied.

Confidence after divorce with these 3 surprising actions

Côte-des-Neiges (Chapter VII)

Côte-des-Neiges (Chapter VII)

Selective Amnesia: Why You Might Crave Your Unsuitable Ex

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Adrian Arnold

Adrian Arnold

Retired veterinary surgeon now a collector of trivia. Married to a wonderful wife, four children and four grandchildren. Author of A Veterinary Life on Amazon.

More from Medium

The Good, The Bad, and The Future

10 SIGNS YOU’RE GLUTEN SENSITIVE, AND THIS IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW

What I Discovered While Playing Castlevania Lords of Shadow on Knight Difficulty.

ESP32 Project #6 Serial Communication